This last Saturday I got dressed, did my hair and makeup (those of you who know me well know I am more likely to get out a circular saw than a curling iron!) and headed out to yet another first date. I should have known that the person I was about to meet was a little off because he never asked a question on the dating website I am currently trying. This should have set off a warning flag, but I just figured he was a little akward at trying to meet people on line. I can totally understand that - those of you married folks who have never had to try this just know it is painful.
I got to the restaurant and met ******. He was wearing a polo shirt buttoned all the way up (warning flag). He was proud of the fact that he got many free shirts like the DARE shirt he was wearing from his mother who is a principal and he thought it was a great casual shirt to wear on a first date. At this point I am silently cussing the extra time I wasted on that curling iron. Moving on to family situtation. He lives with his grandparents!!! That is a great mood killer. Who can cuddle on the couch with Papa sitting in the kitchen with his hearing aid turned all the way up to eavesdrop. Oh, did I mention he lives part of the week in Emporia, VA where he has worked for five years already, but he considers this a temporary thing. The grandparent thing is on the weekend when he comes up to Richmond. I spent a lot of the date in teacher mode diagnosing this man. He had no social skills, didn’t make any eye contact and asked me maybe two questions which were just my questions turned back on my self. I tried to openminded and wait for him to be more comfortable. I figured he was just shy. WRONG! After an hour and a half lunch I was dying. My roommate, Aaryn thinks he paid off the waiter to make our lunch take forever to come since he knew I would try to flee. I have never made up an appointment to get out of a date. By the end of this one I was so happy that Aaryn had asked me if I wanted to go to the Shamrock the Block party downtown. ****** asked me what I was supposed to be doing with my friend who I said I had to meet. All that lying in my past helped me keep a straight face when I told him I had no clue. I didn’t want him hunting me down.
I am now ready to be a participant in an arranged marriage. I want out of the dating scene. It is either arranged marriage or a sperm bank. Those of you who don’t want a niece or nephew without a father need to get to work on this problem for me. Aren’t your friends supposed to set you up? Well mine are all single! They know the same guys I do! Help.
