It is over two months into the school year now.  I have figured out a lot of the quirks for most of my children.  They know what annoys me, I know what annoys them.  We are dealing with the trailer with as much grace as possible.  But I am fighting with the need to save them all.  When I started teaching I knew that I wouldn’t be able to save all of my kids.  I was a least in touch enough to admit that.  I even was able to pick out the ones that would end up in prison one day due to bad decisions, but it still hurts to know that there are ones that I just don’t see a future for.  Those children who don’t have a chance because of what they have been dealt.  I want to take some of them and fix them just like a band-aid on a cut from the playground.  What do we do for the ones with psychological disorders that are not going to allow them to have a normal life.  I have a kid who will tell me during the first hour of the day that he is going to be so much better today, but I know that thirty minutes later he is going to throw a fit for no sane reason.  I love my job.  I have always said that the day I wake up and say I don’t want to go to work is the day I start planning a career change.  I watch the teachers who are just in their classrooms just for a paycheck (don’t ask me why – you could make better money elsewhere and have none of the issues) and never want to turn into one of them.  I haven’t had a day where I woke up wanting to leave the classroom.  I just want a day where I go to school and know that he is going to end up okay.  I know it isn’t going to happen, but how do you give up hope and stop trying.  I don’t want to learn how.